Our identity is the mental model that we have of ourselves.
It's one of the most important of all our beliefs because it determines our behavior and defines the scope of what we believe that we are capable of doing and what is beyond our reach.
For all its importance most of what we see as our identity is the fruit of suggestions from parents, peers and friends that we accepted as gospel truth.
A teacher told us that we were good in math but lousy in English, we believed him and for the rest of our life those words became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Unbelievable as it may be, most of our identity was built that way.
Someone made a comment that suggested that we had a certain attribute or lacked a certain skill and if we accepted that suggestion, that was it, for the rest of our life we are literally hypnotize with that beliefs and act accordingly.
It sounds absolutely preposterous but in a great many instances, that's how most of our perceived identity was formed.
That theory has been demonstrated to be true times and times again when we look at the behavior of children as it relates to their upbringing.
Children who were lucky enough to have parents that were supportive, loving and encouraging turned out to have self-confidence, a high degree of self-esteem and were well adjusted.
On the other hand, children brought up in an atmosphere of oppression and negativity found it a lot harder to adjust and lead happy lives.
It can never be stressed enough, most of our identity is nothing but a belief that resulted from suggestions that were accepted.
What this really mean is the fact that if we don't like who we perceive ourselves to be, it possible to change it.
Before any attempt is made at changing one's identity, the nature of beliefs (which is what our identity is) has to be explored and understood.
A belief is nothing but a notion that is supported by evidences.
Whether or not those evidences are valid or not matters little.
Fashion is a perfect example of that.
All that we have to do to test the hypothesis is to look at some of our pictures that were taken a few decades ago.
We look at those pictures and see the haircuts that we had at the time and the clothes that we wore and they make us laugh because we look so silly.
Back then, everyone was following that fashion so we believed that it made us look great.
We look at these pictures today and with different references we have an entirely different opinion of what we looked like.
Beliefs are nothing but notions supported by evidences.
So if we want to change some beliefs that are not supporting us in our perceived identity, all that we have to do is to find evidences that will support a different belief and, as if per magic, that belief and our identity will change.
Now voluntarily changing beliefs is a skill and like any other skill it has to be started with "baby steps.
" That is, at first we start with minor beliefs to which we are not too strongly attached and then gradually move to fundamental beliefs.
It's a well-known fact that we behave as we perceive ourselves to be and it has also been demonstrated that life has a tendency to treat us like the person that we believe that we are.
So, if we want to affect a major change in our life, the first thing that we need to do it to change the beliefs that we have about our identity.
Most of our limitations are self-imposed.
We are much more than we believe that we are.
It is in our power to recreate ourselves into the wonderful person that we were meant to be.
All that we have to do to achieve that is to change our beliefs and change our identity.
We have the tools to do it and all that is required is the will to affect the change.