If you're returning to the job force after staying home to raise a family or are simply wanting to secure employment that pays better or is closer to home, then power to you! But don't undermine your chances of landing the job you want by talking about your family during a first interview.

Employers understandably want to hire employees who are reliable and possess strong job skills. That means that during an interview, they want to know that you are a candidate who is dependable and committed to the job, and not necessarily see your most recent family photograph.

Even if an interviewer seems interested in knowing the ages of your children and family details, in many cases it is a human resources tactic and not a genuine interest. How you respond may give cues into whether you will be able to adequately focus on assigned tasks, handle extra work, and keep personal distractions to a minimum. While you should answer questions honestly, going into any depth about your child's academic strengths or extracurricular achievements is a job tactic no-no. The focus is on you, after all, and not your family.

Here are family topics to avoid when interviewing for a job:

• Don't feel a need to over-explain or apologize about a gap in employment. It's not uncommon for parents to take time off the job to raise kids. Simply tell the employer in an upfront fashion that you "left the workforce for ____ period to raise a child and that are you ready to return to your career." No further explanation is needed.
• Don't talk in detail about your family. Employers want to know about you and your job skills. They want to envision you as a valued worker, not as a mom or dad-of-the-year. Any gushing of information or enthusiasm should be about your strengths and aptitudes, not about your perfect kids.

• Don't ask about child care during an initial intervew. Unless the interviewer brings it up, a first interview is not the time to ask about corporate child care, dependent care reimbursements, or discounted child care locations. Keep in mind that the person conducting the interview probably doesn't even know the answers to your questions anyway. Once you are offered a position, you can contact the human resources department with your questions before making a final decision.
• Family or maternity leave questions are off-limits. This is not to say that you shouldn't ask about these topics before taking a job. But a first interview is geared toward having the interviewer choose you as a desired employee. Only then is it your turn to ask a benefits representative about questions relating to child care, fertility coverage, leave time, taking time off for sick children or to attend children's programs, etc.
• Prepare a response in advance to inappropriate questions about children or child care. Never mind that certain questions about your personal life or ethical questions are not allowable in an interview. If a person asks you something about your family situation, makes comments about their personal opinions of mothers in the workplace or whether you should be back at work so soon, or wants to know how long you have had your nanny, you should have a calm and positive response in mind. After all, you DO want this job or else you would not have applied for it. In most cases, an employer really wants to know if you are reliable, if you have dependable child care, and if you are comfortable in juggling dual roles as parent and employee. With that in mind, give your interviewer your best smile and give a brief response while indicating how you have life under control!

Remember that you should first focus on making an employer want you to join their team. After they are sold on the fact that you're the person for the job, any negotiations relating to family-work-life balance should just be details for sealing the deal.

Finally, surveys have shown that while salary is still important, many parents returning to work after time off say they are less driven by salary amount and more by job flexibility, hours, and even part-time work. That accounts for a growing demand for jobs that can be staffed during a child's typical school hours.